After a little drizzling, the sky was clear and Sun was even
shinier. I had to rush home. I was waiting at Subhash Chowk for traffic cop to
signal. A JCB backhoe was digging the soil at 20 feet left of me. There is a
big fly-over construction going on in Subhash Chowk.
It take more than 15-20 minutes to cross the jam daily. Traffic from right was unstoppable. Honking
vehicles were competing one another to move forward, obviously within the
boundaries of disciple. 'Oh, what is this guy doing?’ I cribbed for traffic
cop.
Traffic cop signaled the cars - already midway- to move
quickly and asked the next truck to stop. The truck was loaded with sand. It
kept moving slowly. The cop confronted; he knocked on its bonnet. He shouted,
'I said STOP.' The truck driver accelerated. It got dangerous for the cop and
he ran. People were eagerly watching the scene including the army men in an
army truck beside me. Traffic cop ran backward and banged on truck's window
still the truck driver didn't seem to abide the order. Army men started making
fun of the cop, one said, 'these idiots!' God knows whom he addressed. 'Nikal
gaya wo to', other said and they all burst into laughter. The cop tried to run
faster. For a fraction of second, the cop was helpless. The construction
laborers stopped the work. They started discussing among themselves. He ran
even faster. This was not to escape but to stop those cars he already had asked
to move before the rebel truck. He had stopped 4-5 cars ahead of the truck and jumped
to open the truck window. Now was the time for punishment!
After 3-4 tight slaps, he asked the driver to take the left.
While moving a bit to the clearer road, the driver again thought to run and gave
race. The cop now was on full heroism. He had punched the driver to push out
from the driving sheet on the road. He jumped out of the truck and caught his
collar.
Soon the rebel was begging for mercy.
The traffic was stand still for
the full of energy scene that was a feel good as 'Triumph of truth' was
established. The cop emerged as Hero. One of the army men said, 'This guy got
the guts'.
Observe the scene. Let’s concentrate on turning points here.
I am the POV character. Everything is written as my view point. So how have
things turned before this scene to after?
Few are the visible changes. Traffic is moving. Traffic cop
is doing his job. I have to rush to my home and traffic cop is not giving
signal. Truck driver is creating a mess around and the antagonist character for
this scene has changed from traffic cop to truck driver. Many of the earlier
setup has changed post the scene execution physically. Traffic from right was
stopped and ours had been given a green signal. Laborers were working
initially, then stopped working and then again returned to work. This all signifies the outer turning point.
After the execution of a scene, it should never remain the same.
Now focus on inner turning point. This consist of the
changes pertaining to feelings of every character involved in the scene from
POV’s view point. I was cribbing on the traffic cop and ended realizing him as
a hero doing his duty well. Army men earlier made a fun of him ended up
appreciating him. The feelings didn’t left unaltered post the scene.
Always have some visible outer turning points and inner
turning points in the scenes. Show the reader what all had changed. Let him
realize the impact of the incident. Many times, mere a news changes everything
and characters realize that things will never be same. This news is an incident
and surrounding that you can write your scene well.
Even a phone call from someone created greater impact that
has remain unaltered throughout the story. Imagine, how many real life stories
might have had an irreversible impact when someone had called the POV character
to tell about 9/11 attack on United States.
In case of these larger events, describe how these have
changed the lives of all the characters. These may include, earth quakes,
terrorists’ attacks, floods. In India, the Kumbh religious gathering had been a
major plot of event for so many years in Bollywood movies. Things had never
returned to be the same.
Don’t forget to write the scene in detail. Write about the
place, geographies, light condition, smell, whether, air or storm, any
prominent big object or small relevant object, nearby big building or small yet
beautiful cottage. The idea is to make the place memorable. In the above scene,
it is clear that a fly-over bridge construction is going on. These objects will
be catalyzing POV character’s nostalgic senses at a later stage when you bring
him to the same place as a writer.
If you have written the ambiance nicely enough to help
reader visualize the place. Bring your POV character again on the same place
and make him emotionally connect with something. Create the importance of
something over there. You can find an old Vodka bottle lying there and force
your character to think about his old friends or you can still show the same
old cottage where they – your POV character and his girlfriend - had made love.
Remember in Deewar, the hit Hindi movie, the protagonist returns to the Shiva
temple at the end where he used to come with his mother but in different
feelings altogether. Imagine the impact it had created.
Dialogue are the ways to show the story rather than telling.
You make your character dynamic and lively to speak their own feelings.
Dialogues are the connections through which writer creates the feelings with
place as well as with other characters. But the above scene seems to have very
less dialogues, you might have thought the reason by now. This is due to POV
character who is standing quite far from the place the activity is going on so
whatever he could heard has been mentioned.
I will elaborate more on dialogues.
Seeds of thoughts: After 10 years of successful
marriage when the protagonist goes for vacation to Shimla with his beloved
wife, he gets nostalgic as he had come with his girlfriend 12 year ago. Later, he
gets shattered to see his girlfriend working as a nurse in a hospital. He however
had heard the news that all the passengers were killed in a bus accident 12
years ago. He tries to meet her. She refuse but later agrees. She tells him about
her bus accident and she lost all her memory.
She regained her memory and started working in a hospital as
she didn’t want to return to her uncle’s house, which is another nightmare. Write
the impact of the bus accident. Write why returning to her uncle’s home is a
nightmare for her. Write the details of Shimla, the natural beauty and its
impact on protagonist’s nostalgic feelings. Write dialogue to have an impact on
the feelings to make it deeper.
- Amit Roop
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